Dr. Jodi Jackson has worked for years to address infant mortality in Kansas. Often, that means she is treating newborns in a high-tech neonatal intensive care unit with sophisticated equipment whirring and beeping. That is exactly the wrong place for an infant like Lili.
Lili’s mother, Victoria, used heroin for the first two-thirds of her pregnancy and hated herself for it. (NPR is using her first name only, because she has used illegal drugs.)
“When you are in withdrawal, you feel your baby that’s in withdrawal too,” says Victoria, recalling the sensations she remembers from her pregnancy. “You feel your baby uncomfortable inside of you, and you know that. And then you use and then the baby’s not [uncomfortable], and that’s a really awful, vulgar thought, but it’s true. That’s how it is. It’s terrible.”
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